It wasn't long after waking up from the anesthisia that i would be seeing things. When the doctors came to check on me. Everything looked as if there pieces of colored paper were stuck to them.
Random places. On the doctors face. Ceiling. Chair. Blankets. It was weird. Everything looked as if it were made of paper.
Ok. As the previous post read I finally found a doctor that would hear me out. There was no other way to fix this but through surgery.
Yeah. Fear! Denial! And terror loomed over me. But it has to be done. Although it doesn't help when friends and other coworkers start telling me the horror stories of surgery let alone my own father telling me horror stories.
I had to keep myself distracted.
Finally the big day. Dec. 23. The day we remove the mass. It was terrifying.
All the shots, IVs, tubes, meds, and nurses swarming around me the entire time and socks.
Once they were done. All i can remember is the nurse putting blue socks on my feet, and placing a mask on my face....then .... I'm at a concert fighting my way through a crowd of paper people to get near the stage where a paper band played. I will draw this later and post once everything is over.....
I will have a few more weird dreams while at the hospital.
After years of carrying this excess weight around going from doctor to doctor with no result. Only countless brands of diet pills, told what to eat, when to eat and how much to eat resulting in becoming sick and staying sick most of the time. It took a week of excruciating pains in my stomach, painful cycles and simply not wanting to eat did one doctor, a new doctor in town, to send me to an imaging center to find a growth that is the size of a grapefruit sitting not only near my stomach and intestine. But on top of my uterus as well.
I fear surgery more than anything else, especially after losing two friends to surgery. But I know there are risks to having surgery done. I'm told by the top surgeons at Duke University that the only way I can get better is to have this thing removed. Since the only thing they know is its not cancerous, its partially exploratory surgery and a panis removal to gain access this thing.
I just want it done and over with so I can do all the things I was able to do before this happened and achieve the goals and dreams I set since I was a child.
