I just received a package from the Employment Security Commissions today along with advertisements for legal services. Thought it was odd, but when I opened the package it was a letter to attend an appeals hearing.
Here I thought my life with the company has ended and I would try to rebuild my life. It's been three months since I was terminated and filed for unemployment, it was in February that I would start receiving unemployment benefits and sending out grievance letters to the company about being wrongfully terminated. Since then, they have left me alone after responding back claiming they did nothing wrong.
It has been awhile now and for all I care they can do whatever the hell they wanted to. My main focus at the time is going out every single day searching for a job. And now, I have to attend an appeals hearing because the company decided I didn't deserve the benefits.
My life is now threaten again and if denied benefits I would be forced to move back in with my parents. It's already bad that any credibility I may have left is tarnished when applying for a new job. Now, I'm just hoping the projects that I've been working on in my spare time will soon pay off. But still, that doesn't solve what is about to happen.
I'm now sitting at my computer researching NC laws, shuffling through paperwork from my previous employment for any evidence to support my claims. Through recommendations I have severed most of my ties with former co-workers and so-claimed friends from my Myspace, Facebook, Bebo and other accounts to avoid them finding anything (true or false) to incriminate me and validate the companies reason as to why I should be denied unemployment benefits.
This company that I was once proud of and lulled into a false sense of security has reared its ugly head and now I must battle that dragon with what little armor or shield I own.
I have nothing bad to say about the company, though the years I gave were spent with blood, sweat, tears and enough stress to kill an elephant. And for what? All for the sake of the contract being manipulated by government employees who have no idea nor appreciate the work that goes into making their product successful and willing to brush us off to continue with their lives.
I have nothing bad to say about certain co-workers who have tried to help me or at least listened to my complaints when no one else did, I wish them well. Those I have grievances with I could careless what they do or think and wish them luck with their Karma. Especially when you sit in your office all day painting your fingernails, balance your checkbooks and complain about me to your friends at the main office when you thought I wasn't listening.
As for me, I will most likely swallow my pride and move back to my parent's house. I'm sure my cats would forgive me for taking them out of their secured environment and placing them in a home with four other cats who will attack them on a daily basis. I will continue to write for Gamertell and Gamezebo, iMUStudios and bForsaken Studios where I feel appreciated and encouraged to continue writing through guidance.
My life maybe in turmoil at the moment, but I have always been a survivor and will bounce back soon. Even if I lose this battle, I will still live to fight another fire-breathing dragon later on. But I will not lay down and allow a company to ruin my life that easily.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Life Unemployed -- The Competition
You know its not easy finding a job. But it keeps you focused as you try to escape the depression, anger and annoyances of losing a job. You send the grievance letters in, hoping for some sympathy only to receive back a letter stating its your own damn fault they fired you. You sit at home wondering where you're going to get the money to pay the bills if you can't qualify for the unemployment insurance benefits let alone the Cobra health insurance which barely helps the situation because you have to pay them to cover any health expenses.
After exchanging professionally hateful letters back and forth I finally received unemployment insurance. But its harder to find a job than it is to keep a job. The battle wages on as I try to claim the comphensation I was never given while I worked there.
But while looking for a job, I'm now realizing who I'm competing with for even a grill position at the local fast food joint. And it is scary that these are the people getting the job before I do.
Okay. You know when you go to job fairs, seminars and even job orientation sessions you're supposed to dress professionally as if you want the job? What ever happened to a nice skirt, dress or business suit? The first week after snapping out of my depression, I broke out my best outfit and fixed my hair. Even brushed my teeth for the second time and tossed a breath mint in my mouth as my resume's were printing in my office. I went to the job fair thinking everyone had done the same until I arrived and felt overly dressed as I watched men walking past with their pants down by their knees and girls dressed as if they were auditioning for a part in a music video.
This is what I am now competing with. Whatever happened to dressing for success? I don't think I even have the body to squeeze into a pair of jeans two sizes too small, a blouse that is way too revealing. Whatever happened to light jewelry like simple finger rings? I looked around and all I could see were ridiculous body piercings such as diamond studded nose, tongue, brow and lip rings that clinked when they talked. I hated standing there wondering what else could have been pierced ... no ... more like afraid to think of what else they could have pierced. It was disturbing. When they smiled you can see the diamond studded gold caps covering their teeth. There was one girl I was in line with who even though was a respectful and nice young lady to talk to. She had so many diamond studded gold capped teeth on her lower jaw that it stuck out like one of those cartoon bulldogs. When she spoke saliva flew everywhere ... and that's just one of many young women I had to stand in line with.
The young men and even a few elderly looking adult men wore the baggy jeans that sagged behind their knees. If you were lucky they wore boxer shorts and if not you would stand in line trying not to stare at the butt crack or the barely legible tatoo right above it. You had to watch how close you were standing to them so you didn't get stepped on or kicked by their oversized sneakers that pretty much flopped when they walked and you didn't want to accidentally step on the laces that dragged behind them. The only thing secured on their persons is the do rag and their baseball caps turned backwards.
It's kind of sad and scary that this is what I'm competing with. The younger next-generation.
After exchanging professionally hateful letters back and forth I finally received unemployment insurance. But its harder to find a job than it is to keep a job. The battle wages on as I try to claim the comphensation I was never given while I worked there.
But while looking for a job, I'm now realizing who I'm competing with for even a grill position at the local fast food joint. And it is scary that these are the people getting the job before I do.
Okay. You know when you go to job fairs, seminars and even job orientation sessions you're supposed to dress professionally as if you want the job? What ever happened to a nice skirt, dress or business suit? The first week after snapping out of my depression, I broke out my best outfit and fixed my hair. Even brushed my teeth for the second time and tossed a breath mint in my mouth as my resume's were printing in my office. I went to the job fair thinking everyone had done the same until I arrived and felt overly dressed as I watched men walking past with their pants down by their knees and girls dressed as if they were auditioning for a part in a music video.
This is what I am now competing with. Whatever happened to dressing for success? I don't think I even have the body to squeeze into a pair of jeans two sizes too small, a blouse that is way too revealing. Whatever happened to light jewelry like simple finger rings? I looked around and all I could see were ridiculous body piercings such as diamond studded nose, tongue, brow and lip rings that clinked when they talked. I hated standing there wondering what else could have been pierced ... no ... more like afraid to think of what else they could have pierced. It was disturbing. When they smiled you can see the diamond studded gold caps covering their teeth. There was one girl I was in line with who even though was a respectful and nice young lady to talk to. She had so many diamond studded gold capped teeth on her lower jaw that it stuck out like one of those cartoon bulldogs. When she spoke saliva flew everywhere ... and that's just one of many young women I had to stand in line with.
The young men and even a few elderly looking adult men wore the baggy jeans that sagged behind their knees. If you were lucky they wore boxer shorts and if not you would stand in line trying not to stare at the butt crack or the barely legible tatoo right above it. You had to watch how close you were standing to them so you didn't get stepped on or kicked by their oversized sneakers that pretty much flopped when they walked and you didn't want to accidentally step on the laces that dragged behind them. The only thing secured on their persons is the do rag and their baseball caps turned backwards.
It's kind of sad and scary that this is what I'm competing with. The younger next-generation.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Terminated: Almost 20 years wasted.
To all my friends who asked me what was wrong on the other day. I was officially fired on Thursday by my boss.
It's sad really. After spending months of dealing with their demands and trying my best to improve my writing skills according to their "standards" on top of continuing to finish my writing assignments. I was called into the conference room where he handed me my termination papers and asked me to leave immediately. Though it was annoying to see the boss standing there with a smile on his face and even though I should be angry I wasn't the least bit surprised. In fact my friends have told me that I should file a lawsuit for discrimination.
Since the threat of the contract being up for grabs everything I knew about my employers and my job has changed. The attitude, the constant threat that we'd be victims of a company-wide layoff. I should have left when I started having feelings of dread driving to work ... but I didn't because I had hoped it would improve and that I had nothing to worry about. So ... it was really my fault ... I lied to myself. I continued working even when I was depressed. I continued to smile even though I wanted to cry. I told jokes when I wanted to scream. Stayed calm when I wanted to just go home and lock the doors.
Am I angry about it? .... No.
Disappointed? .... Yes.
Do I blame anyone? ... Not really.
When I stopped feeling any sort of ownership to the publication, I should have known enough to leave it. I cheated myself by not moving forward and taking that job in death valley when it was offered six months ago or that job in Pennsylvania three years ago. I got to comfortable with working at the paper that I didn't think that waiting another year would make a difference. That I had time to make a gaming dream a reality.
Honestly, I was bored. I was tired of writing the same stories week after week, month after month and year after year. I needed a change of pace or new stories to write. In the past I just traded sections with someone and it got better, even stayed as just a general writer. Oh well.
I never had a degree in journalism. So I didn't really belong in that world anyways. But I really wanted to make it work. So I took writing courses when I could at the local community college and passed. But I still liked the idea of being a graphic artist. When I sat in Betty Abney's chair the day she had a seizure and was carried away by ambulance, it was supposed to have been a temporary position until a new writer was hired. I was the graphic artist and typesetter, that's what I applied for and that's what I wanted to do. Who knew those weeks would become years.
But, like I said before, I knew this would happen sooner or later. Just bad timing, since my interviews with a company in Michigan and California would not take place until summer now because of the current economy situation. So I need to find a job until then.
I'm still attending the meetings with iMU Canada, have a few more documents to help Robert with. He's taking care most of that at the moment. I'm still keeping touch with the guys of bForsaken Studios and Digital Dreamland Productions. In fact we finished three stories and working on a group story. It will be great to see a story that all my friends from iMU, bForsaken and I have been working on all last year coming to life and finally becoming a game.
Will I miss working at the papaer? Perhaps. After all, it became the only thing I knew. It was where I found alot of the cool friends I have today. But I allowed myself to get so used to it that I never really looked into my future and thought hard about what I wanted to do. Until almost 20 years later.
So what will I do now? Survive. Like I always have. Even if it means sucking in my pride and flipping burgers at burger king. Until then. To all my Metal Gear Solid friends, see you on the virtual battlefield until the next chapter of my life begins and those on Soul Caliber 4 ... I need to destress and ninja kick something, so I will see you guys online in 10 minutes. That means you too Parrish.
It's sad really. After spending months of dealing with their demands and trying my best to improve my writing skills according to their "standards" on top of continuing to finish my writing assignments. I was called into the conference room where he handed me my termination papers and asked me to leave immediately. Though it was annoying to see the boss standing there with a smile on his face and even though I should be angry I wasn't the least bit surprised. In fact my friends have told me that I should file a lawsuit for discrimination.
Since the threat of the contract being up for grabs everything I knew about my employers and my job has changed. The attitude, the constant threat that we'd be victims of a company-wide layoff. I should have left when I started having feelings of dread driving to work ... but I didn't because I had hoped it would improve and that I had nothing to worry about. So ... it was really my fault ... I lied to myself. I continued working even when I was depressed. I continued to smile even though I wanted to cry. I told jokes when I wanted to scream. Stayed calm when I wanted to just go home and lock the doors.
Am I angry about it? .... No.
Disappointed? .... Yes.
Do I blame anyone? ... Not really.
When I stopped feeling any sort of ownership to the publication, I should have known enough to leave it. I cheated myself by not moving forward and taking that job in death valley when it was offered six months ago or that job in Pennsylvania three years ago. I got to comfortable with working at the paper that I didn't think that waiting another year would make a difference. That I had time to make a gaming dream a reality.
Honestly, I was bored. I was tired of writing the same stories week after week, month after month and year after year. I needed a change of pace or new stories to write. In the past I just traded sections with someone and it got better, even stayed as just a general writer. Oh well.
I never had a degree in journalism. So I didn't really belong in that world anyways. But I really wanted to make it work. So I took writing courses when I could at the local community college and passed. But I still liked the idea of being a graphic artist. When I sat in Betty Abney's chair the day she had a seizure and was carried away by ambulance, it was supposed to have been a temporary position until a new writer was hired. I was the graphic artist and typesetter, that's what I applied for and that's what I wanted to do. Who knew those weeks would become years.
But, like I said before, I knew this would happen sooner or later. Just bad timing, since my interviews with a company in Michigan and California would not take place until summer now because of the current economy situation. So I need to find a job until then.
I'm still attending the meetings with iMU Canada, have a few more documents to help Robert with. He's taking care most of that at the moment. I'm still keeping touch with the guys of bForsaken Studios and Digital Dreamland Productions. In fact we finished three stories and working on a group story. It will be great to see a story that all my friends from iMU, bForsaken and I have been working on all last year coming to life and finally becoming a game.
Will I miss working at the papaer? Perhaps. After all, it became the only thing I knew. It was where I found alot of the cool friends I have today. But I allowed myself to get so used to it that I never really looked into my future and thought hard about what I wanted to do. Until almost 20 years later.
So what will I do now? Survive. Like I always have. Even if it means sucking in my pride and flipping burgers at burger king. Until then. To all my Metal Gear Solid friends, see you on the virtual battlefield until the next chapter of my life begins and those on Soul Caliber 4 ... I need to destress and ninja kick something, so I will see you guys online in 10 minutes. That means you too Parrish.
Monday, January 5, 2009
A virtual date ruined at HOME
Its New Years Eve. My boyfriend and I decided to have a virtual date on the new PlayStation HOME. After weeks of getting him to put his XBox360 aside for one night and join me on the PlayStation Network, and telling him about the wonderful games, funny things he can do and the friendly people he can meet. (Insert the sound of a needle dragging across a record here.)
Wow. What a way to celebrate the new year than to have some jerk making lewd sexual comments to me, racial comments to another person joining us for a game of bowling and insulting my boyfriend. Based on his personal opinion of what he tought about our avatars. While he flamed everyone in the bowling alley, I'm on the telephone stuttering with my boyfriend swearing that not everyone on HOME are jerks. HOME's bowling alley soon erupted into a violent riot of text, fist shaking avatars coming over to scream at the jerk. Eventually a moderator from Sony America shows up to deal with the situation. And the jerk, who I'm convinced is a 17-year-old kid shoving doritos into his mouth with one hand and trying not to pee his pants while laughing at the chaos he's created.
Seriously, is there no etiquette on the networks?
Wow. What a way to celebrate the new year than to have some jerk making lewd sexual comments to me, racial comments to another person joining us for a game of bowling and insulting my boyfriend. Based on his personal opinion of what he tought about our avatars. While he flamed everyone in the bowling alley, I'm on the telephone stuttering with my boyfriend swearing that not everyone on HOME are jerks. HOME's bowling alley soon erupted into a violent riot of text, fist shaking avatars coming over to scream at the jerk. Eventually a moderator from Sony America shows up to deal with the situation. And the jerk, who I'm convinced is a 17-year-old kid shoving doritos into his mouth with one hand and trying not to pee his pants while laughing at the chaos he's created.
Seriously, is there no etiquette on the networks?
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