It started at midnight, I waited around for train number 98 to arrive. It would be my first train ride in the United States. I was excited, until midnight when the train would be an hour late.
Okay, these types of things happen so I shrugged it off and waited. The late arrivals show up, one lady in a motorized rascal wheel chair and her friend, a mother with two kids who seem well-behaved at the time. SHe sat there looking pretty, smiling and polite. Another woman dressed as a fashion model and her friend, a mother with a two-year old. THis was fine, until 1 a.m. when they announced the train was now 2 hours and 30 minutes late.
I checked my ticket and saw this would only give me 30 minutes to find my next train in New York. Okay, so I put my PSP away trying to conserve the battery for the ride later this afternoon. Besides I had a window seat and was still a little excited just riding the trains. I remember riding the trains in Germany, it was exciting then too. But I don’t remember them ever being late that often.
Finally at 2 a.m. the train arrives. Everyone was so happy to just get on the train they didn’t care who they were trampling, shoving or stepping on. Then there was a crash. ’Crap, what now.’ can be heard in unison as everyone turn to see a truck run over a lamp post. No one else was in the parking lot. So the line stops. Once the driver came out, (in unison) ’Oh" and we boarded the train.
Everything was quiet for at least two hours, I had just fallen asleep when the two year old begins to cry. An hour later the baby was quiet. Okay nap time. This lasted two hours and then the baby cries again. It’s now 7 a.m. and the baby is starting up again, so I put my headset on and amped the MP3 player as loud as it can go. .... new lesson. A baby can scream louder than the loudest setting on an MP3 player. .... Luckily I listen to techno. Just finding the right song would fix that. ... hmmmmm. 666-Supadupafly.
It’s now 10 a.m. and several stops later, we arrive at the Washington, DC station. WHAT? This was supposed to be a straight shot from NC to NY. OKay fine. So we go from DC to Pittsburgh to Newark, NJ back to DC and finally towards NY. .... so I thought. But I thought it would be quiet the rest of the trip. The mother and the two year old got off the train in Newark, NJ. .... Now the reverend is aboard the train and is visiting every seat in the car.
Think fast....SLEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPP.... man. I’m not tired. Techno is still blaring in my ears, so .... maybe if I closed my eyes he’ll think i’m listening to my music. Yes... he skips my seat and moves on to the mother with her two polite children.
Of course after the reverend visited the children, the kids got the spirit and while mom was trying to get rid of the menacing reverend, the two children who found the spirit in a train car are now in full tilt singing, dancing and arguing with each other as to who is getting into heaven first in the center aisle.
The mother, who was at the beginning of the trip smiling now has blank look on her face. Glaring at her children as if trying to think of which child to send to heaven first. If I could suggest one of them I’d shout ’Send the Boy!!!!!’ Although the rest of the train are recommending the girl who has been visiting everyone and preaching to them, thanks to the reverend. The boy, a four year old, can scream and sing louder than the loudest setting on an MP3 player with no Techno song in the list that could drown him out. So. I pull out my PSP and play God of War CHains of Olympus.
Bad move. Now. Not only are they visiting everyone and preaching the gospel they are hovering over my shoulder to watch me play.
"What? You got some serious ADD issues? Or what? This game isn’t for kids!"
I guess mom is happier now, the kids begged her for their games and for two hours. It was quiet. Finally beat the viking looking dude and moved on to the next puzzle when the announcement was made that Penn Station was the next stop. YEAAAAYIE!!!!!!! Of course the kids were just as excited as they are back to bouncing all over the place. Mom can be seen chasing one and yelling at the other.
Finally, I make it to New York Penn Station. Okay. So, I looked at my watch, I now have 20 minutes to find my next train. But now the mother who was gorgeous at the beginning of the trip was in the aisle trying to get her two kids to put their jackets on and is blocking the way. I say excuse me and wow. She turned around and ... DAMN. She looked like an old woman with a haggard face, her nicely brushed hair was reaching out in all directions and her sweet voice now sounds like an old cabby that has been smoking for years.
I run inside Penn station and found that my next train is also late. Two hours late. Joy.
So I begin canvasing the area for food. FOOOOOOOOOOD. Wow, the food is expensive. Hmmmmm. NY Pretzels are only 2 bucks ... water... what? two bucks? Okay.. its still cheaper than the food on the train. SO .. I sat in the lobby staring at the announcement board, waiting for my train until the smelly guy who has been following me since I got there began lingering behind me and staring at my backpack. So I took off to find coffee.
As I broke down and bought a cup of iced coffee that cost 7 bucks a poor woman begging for loose change so she can buy herself a ticket to Newark kept following me. Gave her 10 bucks, felt sorry for her two kids clinging to her legs. Then the announcement was made that my train finally showed up. But it never said which gate it was on.
As I waited for them to tell me which gate, a fight broke out. Didn’t care. I bolted through the fight that was blocking the main gates and as I entered "Gate 10W is now boarding for Boston!" WHOOOO HOOOO!!!!!!!
Finally, I’m on my train and ready to fly. Well...that didn’t go far. As the train got on to a bridge going over Brooklyn. It died. No electricity, no engine ... nadda.
Two hours later, no sign of a rescue engine that’s supposed to drag us to our destination. Finally it showed up and as it dragged us half way off the bridge. .... it died. Four hours later, passengers began worrying and a few became hostile. It was now 7 p.m. .... I was supposed to be in Boston by now. Starvation was hitting everyone so I broke down and paid for the $7 sandwich and got a bag of pretzels, cookies, crackers and a bottle of water free. Like that will keep me from complaining.
It was now 8 p.m. another train on the opposite hill shows up and we have to climb off the train onto slippery rocks, climb down this hill and up the next where Magilla Gorilla waited to lift us up and throw us on the train. It was so surreal at that moment, the scene looked like a World War II movie where they were the German soldiers were shoving the Jewish citizens into box cars. If only I had taken the photo to show you guys.
Finally I arrive at Boston South Station at midnight, I had 30 minutes to find the redline train to my brother’s house. Luckily my brother was there at the station, he had already bought a ticket so all we had to do was get on the subway train.
WHEW... I hope my ride home isn’t this bad.
