Life Unemployed -- They Call Me Captain Hopeless

It's been several weeks since I last posted, what I thought was a legalese for "LOSER" actually meant I won. Go figure.

At any rate, I'm still drawing benefits while looking for a job. Sigh. The hunt for the big white whale goes on. But it seems lately the only jobs available are for those with medical degrees and licenses or nurses. All else falls into the "We want you to come work for us for less than minimum wage" category. How's a girl supposed to survive this town for less than $5 an hour? Seriously?

No wonder there are more unemployed people than employed in this town. No one wants to pay enough for people to not only pay their bills on time, but to eat as well as put gas in the car.

But soon, I'm not going to worry about that. Over at iMU Studios the group is in the second round of the investor's program and over at bForsaken Studios the gang is in contact with New Moon Studios who are willing to scratch our backs if we as the saying goes "scratch their backs."

Meanwhile, while all this is falling into place I'm also getting ready for a trip to California for "THE BIG" interview. I don't want to jinx it so I'm not even going to name the company. Those who know me, know exactly who I'm talking about and believe me I would be on cloud nine if accepted. Or somewhere on the streets of LA getting tanked up on alcohol to drown my sorrows. Oops... almost jinxed myself.

But for now I must stay afloat and walk that boulevard of broken dreams and pick up the pieces to rebuild my life. (No pun intended.)

But I do need to keep my head above water. Many good things are coming my way but I must be ready to receive it as anyone who has been unemployed for awhile must do.

Life Unemployed -- Battle between good and evil continues

The results of the hearing was a bit confusing, it's very hard to translate "legalese" into english but from what I gathered I think I lost. Oh my heart aches. But I'm not going to lay down like a floor mat and let these people walk all over me. So I applied for an appeal again. This time with more evidence (I couldn't find earlier) and a little more focus with my approach.

I never go out of my way to scratch someone's eyes out, I'm a more conservative fighter ... an opportunity sniper. I tried to remain cool and collective during the first hearing ... even when some of the things the company came up with were lies even the referee picked up on.

I never once raised my voice or accused them of lying during the interview. Instead I remained calm and collective, but maybe I was too calm and too collective that I didn't explain what needed to be explained. Perhaps I would have won then.

But now that the nervousness of the hearing has passed and the fire-breathing dragon turned out to be more like a den of hungry lions and I was the white rabbit watching my step and preapring to leap out of the way when possible. I know which path I must step in to walk into that den and be heard. To transform that white rabbit into a silver tigress.

This wasn't what I really wanted, I just want to survive until I found a new job. But now that white rabbit has been tossed back into the den.

Life Unemployed -- A fight for my life

I just received a package from the Employment Security Commissions today along with advertisements for legal services. Thought it was odd, but when I opened the package it was a letter to attend an appeals hearing.

Here I thought my life with the company has ended and I would try to rebuild my life. It's been three months since I was terminated and filed for unemployment, it was in February that I would start receiving unemployment benefits and sending out grievance letters to the company about being wrongfully terminated. Since then, they have left me alone after responding back claiming they did nothing wrong.

It has been awhile now and for all I care they can do whatever the hell they wanted to. My main focus at the time is going out every single day searching for a job. And now, I have to attend an appeals hearing because the company decided I didn't deserve the benefits.

My life is now threaten again and if denied benefits I would be forced to move back in with my parents. It's already bad that any credibility I may have left is tarnished when applying for a new job. Now, I'm just hoping the projects that I've been working on in my spare time will soon pay off. But still, that doesn't solve what is about to happen.

I'm now sitting at my computer researching NC laws, shuffling through paperwork from my previous employment for any evidence to support my claims. Through recommendations I have severed most of my ties with former co-workers and so-claimed friends from my Myspace, Facebook, Bebo and other accounts to avoid them finding anything (true or false) to incriminate me and validate the companies reason as to why I should be denied unemployment benefits.

This company that I was once proud of and lulled into a false sense of security has reared its ugly head and now I must battle that dragon with what little armor or shield I own.

I have nothing bad to say about the company, though the years I gave were spent with blood, sweat, tears and enough stress to kill an elephant. And for what? All for the sake of the contract being manipulated by government employees who have no idea nor appreciate the work that goes into making their product successful and willing to brush us off to continue with their lives.

I have nothing bad to say about certain co-workers who have tried to help me or at least listened to my complaints when no one else did, I wish them well. Those I have grievances with I could careless what they do or think and wish them luck with their Karma. Especially when you sit in your office all day painting your fingernails, balance your checkbooks and complain about me to your friends at the main office when you thought I wasn't listening.

As for me, I will most likely swallow my pride and move back to my parent's house. I'm sure my cats would forgive me for taking them out of their secured environment and placing them in a home with four other cats who will attack them on a daily basis. I will continue to write for Gamertell and Gamezebo, iMUStudios and bForsaken Studios where I feel appreciated and encouraged to continue writing through guidance.

My life maybe in turmoil at the moment, but I have always been a survivor and will bounce back soon. Even if I lose this battle, I will still live to fight another fire-breathing dragon later on. But I will not lay down and allow a company to ruin my life that easily.

Life Unemployed -- The Competition

You know its not easy finding a job. But it keeps you focused as you try to escape the depression, anger and annoyances of losing a job. You send the grievance letters in, hoping for some sympathy only to receive back a letter stating its your own damn fault they fired you. You sit at home wondering where you're going to get the money to pay the bills if you can't qualify for the unemployment insurance benefits let alone the Cobra health insurance which barely helps the situation because you have to pay them to cover any health expenses.

After exchanging professionally hateful letters back and forth I finally received unemployment insurance. But its harder to find a job than it is to keep a job. The battle wages on as I try to claim the comphensation I was never given while I worked there.

But while looking for a job, I'm now realizing who I'm competing with for even a grill position at the local fast food joint. And it is scary that these are the people getting the job before I do.

Okay. You know when you go to job fairs, seminars and even job orientation sessions you're supposed to dress professionally as if you want the job? What ever happened to a nice skirt, dress or business suit? The first week after snapping out of my depression, I broke out my best outfit and fixed my hair. Even brushed my teeth for the second time and tossed a breath mint in my mouth as my resume's were printing in my office. I went to the job fair thinking everyone had done the same until I arrived and felt overly dressed as I watched men walking past with their pants down by their knees and girls dressed as if they were auditioning for a part in a music video.

This is what I am now competing with. Whatever happened to dressing for success? I don't think I even have the body to squeeze into a pair of jeans two sizes too small, a blouse that is way too revealing. Whatever happened to light jewelry like simple finger rings? I looked around and all I could see were ridiculous body piercings such as diamond studded nose, tongue, brow and lip rings that clinked when they talked. I hated standing there wondering what else could have been pierced ... no ... more like afraid to think of what else they could have pierced. It was disturbing. When they smiled you can see the diamond studded gold caps covering their teeth. There was one girl I was in line with who even though was a respectful and nice young lady to talk to. She had so many diamond studded gold capped teeth on her lower jaw that it stuck out like one of those cartoon bulldogs. When she spoke saliva flew everywhere ... and that's just one of many young women I had to stand in line with.

The young men and even a few elderly looking adult men wore the baggy jeans that sagged behind their knees. If you were lucky they wore boxer shorts and if not you would stand in line trying not to stare at the butt crack or the barely legible tatoo right above it. You had to watch how close you were standing to them so you didn't get stepped on or kicked by their oversized sneakers that pretty much flopped when they walked and you didn't want to accidentally step on the laces that dragged behind them. The only thing secured on their persons is the do rag and their baseball caps turned backwards.

It's kind of sad and scary that this is what I'm competing with. The younger next-generation.